Kagami Got Run Over By A Reindeer!
by FelinaSky
Summary: This a parody of the song 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer'. Kagami gets run over when leaving Kuroko's Christmas party. Warning: contains alcohol, swearing, violence, and hints of yaoi!


FelinaSky- Hi everyone and welcome to my first Kuroko's Basketball fanfic! This idea just came to me last night when I was listening to the song 'Grandma got run over by a reindeer'!

Disclaimer: FelinaSky does not own Kuroko's Basketball or the song 'Grandma got run over by a reindeer'!

_Italic- Song_

Normal- Story

* * *

_Kagami got run over by a reindeer,_

_walkin' home from Kuroko's house, Christmas eve._

_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_

_but as for me and Kuroko, we believe._

"Ahhhh!" Kagami screamed as he was tackled to the gound face first into the snow by a little dog who was wearing reindeer antlers and was pulling a small red sleigh.

"Good boy, Nigou!" said Akashi who was sitting in the sleigh wearing a Santa Claus suit and a hat.

"Bastard," Kagami mumbled into the snow.

"Onwards, Nigou! Terror Claus has more people to kill tonight!" Akashi ordered as he cracked the whip. Nigou barked and pulled the small sleigh down the street to the next victim.

_He'd been drinkin' too much egg nog._

_And we'd begged him not to go._

"I'm not drunk," Kagami said.

"Please don't go, Kagami-kun," Kuroko begged.

"Just let him go, Tetsu! The party will be so much better without him!" Aomine said.

_But he'd forgot his gym bag,_

"Sorry but I have to go, Kuroko. I forgot my gym bag back at school! And fuck you, Ahomine!" Kagami growled as walked out the door.

_and he staggered_ _out the door into the snow._

"FUCK!" Kagami yelled as he slipped and fell down the stairs outside.

_When we found him an hour later_

_at the scene of the attack._

_He had paw prints on his forehead,_

_And incriminatin' scissors marks on his back._

"Poor Kagami-kun," Kuroko said as everyone looked at Kagami who was lying on the ground.

"Today is the worst day for Leos," Midorima said as he pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

"Don't be sad, Tetsu! I'm still here to be your light!" Aomine smiled as he placed his arm around Kuroko's shoulders.

"No thank you, Aomine-kun," Kuroko declined.

"My poor brother. I knew him well!" Himuro said.

"May Kagamicchi rest in peace," Kise said.

"I'm still alive, Assholes!" Kagami mumbled into the snow.

_Kagami got run over_ _by a reindeer,_

_walkin' home from Kuroko's house, Christmas eve._

_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_

_but as for me and Kuroko, we believe._

_Now were all so proud of Kuroko._

_He's been takin' this so well._

_See him in there watchin' Basketball,_

_drinkin' beer and playin' cards with the Miracles._

"Royal flush," Kuroko said as he put his cards down face up on the table.

"Fuck! When I chose this game I was hoping Kuroko would be the one stripping, not me!" Aomine growled as he took off his pants.

"Crap! How did Kuro-chin get so good at strip poker?!" Murasakibara asked as he took off his pants and handed them to Kuroko.

"Do you like anything you see, Kurokocchi?" Kise flirted as he removed his pants in a sexy way.

"No," Kuroko said.

"How am I losing? Today is Cancer's best day and I even have my lucky item for today here!" Midorima growled as he removed his pants too.

"Woohoo! Take it off, Shin-chan! Take it all off!" Takao hollered excitedly.

"Shut up, Takao! Or I will kill you!" Midorima growled. The four Miracles were now wearing nothing but their underwears.

_It's not Christmas without Kagami._

_All the friends dressed in black._

_And we just can't help but wonder:_

_Should we open up his gifts or send them back?_

"SEND THEM BACK!" Everyone shouted.

"That's not very nice to Kagami-kun!" Kuroko said.

_Kagami got run over by a reindeer,_

_walkin' home from Kuroko's house, Christmas eve_.

_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_

_but as for me and Kuroko, we believe._

Kagami got up from the snow and walked up to Kuroko's door. He tried to turn the door knob but realized that it was locked.

"Those bastards locked me out!" Kagami growled.

_Now the goose is on the table._

_And the pudding made of fig._

"Mmm... Everything looks so yummy!" Murasakibara said as he drooled while looking at all the food on the table.

"Now Atsushi, you have to wait for everyone else to be at the table before you start eating," Himuro smiled.

"I'm know, Muro-chin," Murasakibara said.

_And a red and white candle,_

_that would just have matched Seirin's colours._

_I've warned all my friends and neighbors,_

"_Better watch out for yourselves."_

_They should never give a license,_

_to a tiny basketball player who runs round with scissors._

"Oh shit! Here Teppei, you can sing the rest of the song!" the singer said as he threw the microphone to Teppei and ran for his life.

"Faster, Nigou! Faster!" Akashi ordered as he cracked the whip, making Nigou pull the sleigh faster after the singer.

"Yay, I get to sing!" Teppei cheered.

_Kagami got run over by a reindeer,_

_walkin' home from Kuroko's house, Christmas eve_.

_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_

_but as for me and Kuroko, we believe._

"Sing it, Kuroko!" Teppei cheered.

"How about we all sing together?" Kuroko suggested.

"YA!" Everyone agreed.

_Kagami got run over by a reindeer,_

_walkin' home from Kuroko's house, Christmas eve._

_You can say there's no such thing as Santa,_

_but as for me and Kuroko, we believe._

"Merry Christmas!" Teppei cheered.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kagami yelled as he broke down the door. Everyone looked at Kagami in shocked.

"YOU LEFT ME OUT THERE TO FREEZE TO DEATH!" Kagami growled.

"You're alive!" Everyone said.

"Of course, I'm alive! And I didn't get run over by a reindeer! I got run over by Kuroko's little dog and that little red headed psycho captain of Rakuzan!" Kagami explained angrily.

"Ho ho ho! You better watch out! You better cry! You better fucking hide! I'm telling you why! Terror Claus is coming to town!" Akashi sang as he walked into Kuroko's house. Everyone excepted Kuroko looked in shocked at the captain of Rakuzan High.

"Akashi-kun, why are you here?" Kuroko asked.

"I'm here because Aomine and Kise are next on my list of people to kill, Tetsuya" Akashi answered.

"WHAT?! WHY ARE WE ON THE LIST, AKASHI/AKASHICCHI?!" Aomine and Kise asked.

"You were flirting with Tetsuya all night!" Akashi said as he held up his scissors. Aomine and Kise looked terrified at Akashi.

"Rest in peace, Aomine-kun and Kise-kun/Mine-chin and Ki-chin/idiot and moron!" Kuroko, Murasakibara, and Midorima said. Aomine and Kise screamed in terror.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Kuroko smiled.

* * *

FelinaSky- Finished! I hope you enjoyed this! Please read and review!

Akashi- Ho ho ho! Terror Claus has special present for you! _*snip snip*_

FelinaSky- Ahhhhh! Run for your lives! *runs away*


End file.
